The Biggest Bachelorette Mistake Ever!

Aloha fellow Bachelorette fans – please help me welcome a special blog from our very own Bloggerette Karen… She’s a big fan and was so moved by last night’s episode that she wanted to write the whole blog herself!

Welcome to the Island of Maui where love is conceived and dreams come alive.

What an exciting and surprising episode we watched tonight. I’ve actually spent the last 10 minutes trying to translate “Biggest Mistake Ever” into Hawaiian.

This week the ladies gathered at Katherine’s house where we enjoyed some teriyaki chicken rice bowls accompanied by some lovely Mission Hill pinot Gris. Dinner was delicious and thank goodness for that because if it wasn’t for the yummy dinner I was biting into it would be my tongue.

Tonight we watched three fantasy dates with the three remaining guys left Reid, Kiptyn and Ed.

The first date was with Kiptyn. They head out for an afternoon at an adventure playground for adults. No, not that kind of adult playground but the kind with physical challenges like walking across a swaying ladder, walking a tightrope and finally climbing to the top of a 10” wide pole, approximately 40’ above the ground. At the top they had to climb up and balance before jumping out to a trapeze like handlebar in a “Leap of Faith”.

They had a few giggles and some uncomfortable kisses throughout the date but it did seem awkward. They appeared to have fun together and clearly supported one another along the way but it doesn’t seem natural.

I’m sure you’ve noticed as we have that Jill tends to turn almost every conversation into being about her. Her typical hard-hitting questions about their flaws and past failed relationships are just annoying. Not to mention her neediness in asking a million different times how much do you like me?

Puh‐lease Jill.

Does every date have to end with you getting attention in some way?

But it wasn’t over yet….at the dinner that evening, Jill decided once again to drill Kiptyn on how much he likes her. He talked about having one foot in the door and one foot out in past relationships to which she replied “What if that happens to me? What if we hit a bump along the way? Are you going to have one foot out?” Welcome to the real world Jill.

All in all I found Kiptyn fairly forgettable but nice.

The second date was with Reid. We all adore Reid and when she asked what he wanted to do, he replied, “Make out”. Very refreshing and honest plus it said so much about how he feels in such a simple way.

They enjoyed a very beautiful and romantic helicopter ride over the island of Maui. On the flight the pilot announced he was an ordained minister and could marry them if they wished. After having a few laughs and joking about it a bit, Jill couldn’t resist wanting to know how the idea of getting married made him feel.

I wanted to throw a towel around his neck and squirt some water in his mouth to prep him for the next round. She is relentless. If she paid as much attention to his body language as she does to his lack of stroking her ego, she would have sent the other two packing.

What I like about Reid is that he is honest with her about how awkward it is to date a girl that has multiple boyfriends. Jill is forgetting too quickly that just a few months ago she was being accused of not opening up enough to Jason, the last Bachelor.

Oh and by the way Jill, do you always get naked or at the very least topless in a bubble bath with a guy right before you’re about to dump him? That’s right, she did it and I said it.

The third date was with Ed. Suitably he has the same name as T.V.’s Mr. Ed. He is nice, has good parents, a good heart but he’s a boring guy who has to wear really short, tight, green shorts just to seem interesting. Ed should just stick to good ole knee length surf shorts but I digress.

Jill seems very interested in Ed, all over him in fact. They had a fabulous date out on the catamaran, or was it a regular sailboat? He even kicked it up a notch when he surprised Jill and flew his parents out to meet her. He scored major points with Jill and she loved his parents.

Now the evening date went a little differently. Not a lot of chemistry in the boudoir. They tried rubbing oil all over each other for our entertainment but apparently as soon as the cameras were off, so were the sparks.

“I was very nervous, and uh, it just didn’t happen," said Ed, following a particularly awkward scene. "I couldn’t show her that I really truly am in love with her.”

Although what happened to Ed last night appears to be clear to most who watched, I hereby give fans the option to choose a more PG-version of events and just assume he fell asleep.

Although if rubbing your fingers through an oiled up hairy chest doesn’t do it for you, what does Jill? And I guess if a day that includes a sail on the sea while the wind blows through your hair; a romantic swim in the Hawaiian waters while the skimpy, bikini clad girl you love wraps her legs around you; a romantic dinner eaten between kisses after which your lover changes into a top that leaves little to the imagination doesn’t get your engine started I’m not entirely sure what will.

Bottom line is I don’t see what he is doing to keep her interested. He’s boring and we just don’t understand why he walked away with a rose tonight.

He seems like a perfect match for Will Truman from Will and Grace.

At the rose ceremony the guys all looked great except for Ed who looked like he belonged in a Backstreet Boys video. Jill was clearly torn with her decision and took Ed aside to discuss his lack of interest in the sack. He said a few things like blah blah blah I love you blah blah blah and his fate was sealed.

Unfortunately for Reid, those three words were all Ed had to say to push him out of the ring. Even though Reid said them in many other ways, Jill needs to hear the words in clear, plain English and so it went:

“Kiptyn, will you accept this rose?” and “Ed, will you accept this rose?”

Each one of us had our hands over our mouths in disbelief.

But Reid took it like a man. No one should ever feel pressured to commit to more than they are prepared for and his only mistake was saying he wished he could go back and open up more for her.

Your girl is out there Reid and she won’t be as needy, as desperate or as insecure as Jill.

Unfortunately, over the past two weeks Jill has lost a few fans. We haven’t completely shut the door on her but we are hoping for some serious answers next week on the “Boys Tell All” episode. Till then, take care and if you’re a young girl living in Philly, go buy or sell a house. I hear there’s a very sweet, eligible realtor in your neighborhood. He’s gonna be just fine.

Till next week Bachelorette Fans!