American Idol 9: 24 Minus Four

So, Thursday's good news is that my Canadian hockey girls pulled through for me with a 2-0 shutout over their quite formidable American opponents. The bad news is that two girls and two boys will be sent home on American Idol's first Top 24 elimination episode of the season. Well, that might actually be good news, come to think of it. Anyway, the night began with Ryan nipping at Simon about the supposed "buzz of the nation" regarding Mr. Cowell's "harsher than normal" comments over the past week. I have NOT A CLUE what the hell he's talking about, and Simon was equally confused. As he put it, "It's not the buzz of the nation at all, it's just a couple of people's thoughts." Exactly, Ryan. Put a sock in it. He then went on to ask Ellen how she felt about her first live week on Idol. Her surprise, and everyone else's, was her public admission to liking bananas. Think about that one for just a second. Randy and Kara said a few things too, but lately my brain just tends to run on autopilot when either of them opens their traps.

Next, we're forced to endure the year's first cheesy group performance, "American Boy" by Estelle. The song sucks, and they need to STOP doing this to us. These people have to face up to their obligation (set by me) to sit down with video footage of Gordon Lightfoot's "Canadian Railroad Trilogy" from Canadian Idol's second season to see how a group number should be done. I honestly don't know if I can take much more of this crap.

Okay, the first rundown for the girls is as follows: Siobhan Magnus is safe, Haeley Vaughn is safe, Michelle Delamor is safe, Katelyn Epperly is safe, Katie Stevens is safe, Janell Wheeler is outta here. Great work, USA! You made the right decision. This just goes to show you that you should never mess around with Ann Wilson by covering a Heart tune... DON'T EVEN TRY!! Buh-bye, Janell. Don't let the door hit ya on your way out.

After that spectacular dumping, we were rewarded with a smokin' performance by Allison Iraheta. I adore her. Will somebody please tell me why she didn't win last year? No, really... I want someone to come up with a solid reason that I can actually buy! There is NO explanation, you let me down last year, America. Not one girl in this season's mix comes even close to holding a candle to this girl. It's just not gonna happen. They should all pack up and go home now.

Time for the second girls' rundown: Paige Miles is safe, Lacey Brown is safe, Lilly Scott is safe, Crystal Bowersox is safe (thank you!), Didi Benami is safe, Ashley Rodriguez is gone. That's fine by me because I don't even remember what she did.

Before the first boys' elimination set, we got to witness some spectacular footage of Tyler Grady's dress rehearsal. Well, it wasn't so much a dress rehearsal as it was a "robe" rehearsal. The dude showed up in cropped boots, tennis socks and a spa robe, and proceeded with his most convincing Robert Plant vamp in that most ridiculous of get ups. It was AWESOME! Too bad they didn't just run with that look during the actual performance. It would've been memorable, to say the least.

Okay, boys' first back row rundown: Michael Lynche is safe, John Park is safe, Aaron Kelly is safe, Todrick Hall is safe, Tim Urban is safe, Joe Muñoz is going home. I'm happy about that because I didn't need another season of David Archuleta.

When we returned from the break, Ryan announced this season's Idol Gives Back which will take place on April 21st. We also received a quick visit from last season's winner, Kris Allen (this guy IS really great, but he's still no Allison, JMO), who spoke to us about his recent trip to Haiti. Kris' sobering performance of The Beatles' "Let It Be" was tasteful and touching. It's available for download, and the money goes to a very good cause. Go get it at iTunes now.

The final boys' rundown: Casey James is safe (NO surprise!), Jermaine Sellers is safe, Lee Dewyze is safe (again, thank you, America!), Andrew Garcia is safe to keep his internet hype alive, Alex Lambert is safe, Tyler Grady is... going home?!!? This was actually a bit of a shock to me. Yes, the arrangement of his chosen song was terrible, but that wasn't his fault. You screwed up on this one, America.

USA, you're now 3 for 4. I'm keeping track, don't disappoint me next week.

CANUCKGIRL delivers the thrills and spills of America’s favourite singing competition direct to your monitor. CanuckGirl is NOT a professional journalist, nor does she play one on television.