American Idol 9: Fill My Heart With Song, Let Me Sing for Ever More

Elimination day on Frank Sinatra Week, and what do we have here? Well folks, it's another superfluous group number. How many times must we suffer the indignity of these abominable productions? It doesn't matter whose music they cover – or suffocate – these things just DO NOT WORK! One can only hope that Simon Cowell will learn from these failures when it comes time to premiere X Factor next year. The only worthwhile point in the entire performance? Aaron Kelly delivering the opening line of "It Was a Very Good Year." Did you catch that? "When I was seventeen..."

Next up, another Ford Commercial. Fast-forward.

Then we found out what each contestant used to do every Tuesday in their former lives. Like, who cares? So of course, they then had to go through the whole spiel of what each of them does on Tuesdays now, and a poor excuse to play the Black Eyed Peas' crapnanimous "I Gotta Feeling." Why they continue to hand that group such enormous amounts of dough is beyond me. But, the best part of the Tuesday procedures had to be our introduction to the stand-in, or I guess "sit-in" judges. They have people sitting there who actually LOOK like the panel we know. Hilarious! How much do these fill-ins get paid, and how can I get in on that gig?

Time to pair the group down to a dwindle. Lee DeWyze was called out to centre stage where all the judges praised his hard work and confidence. Thankfully, he was pronounced safe. At that point, you'd think they'd carry on and subject another Idol to the next set of "go or stay." But no, it was time to bring out Lady Gaga. I'm convinced that people only tune in to see what this woman is wearing, or NOT wearing. Talent? Yeah, there's a little bit there, but it's hidden behind a multitude of extraneous dancers, posers, bad costumes and makeup, and the Lady herself pulling her very best Madonna impersonation. I don't like Madonna, and I have no patience for wannabes.

Luckily, after the Gaga debacle, we got to spend some more time with Harry Connick Jr., where he stated that instead of becoming a mentor, he'd like to be Idol's next "centaur." Along with a gag real of genuinely funny moments, we were treated to Harry and his band's smooth-as-silk performance of The Beatles' (wrong week?) "And I Love Her." Umm, WOW! Okay, I'm done. THAT was tremendous! Time to grab your charts and fold up your music stand. You're just NOT gonna do any better than that.

Let me just pause for a moment to fully appreciate that performance...

Back to the show. What next though? ANOTHER group number where the remaining five covered a medley of Harry's songs. It actually wasn't the worst thing we've had to endure. I can't believe I just said that.

Time for some more elimination exercises. Crystal Bowersox was sent to the far side of the stage. Michael Lynche, the near side. Aaron joined Big Mike. Casey James nudged up to Crystal.

This was the point in the show where Ryan decided to play games with Lee and ask him to make a choice as to which group would be the bottom two. Always a class act, Lee refused. The bottom two? Michael and Aaron. Thankfully, America listened to me and allowed Casey's awkward run to slide.

The end result, after the nationwide vote, it was decided that Aaron would be leaving us. Never did I believe that this kid would win the thing, but I admit, I was sad to see him go. If the world contained more sweetheart teenagers like this, don't you think it would be a better place to live? I'd take one Aaron Kelly over a 100,000 Jonas Brothers, any day of the week. As I expected, he accepted his elimination with the grace and poise of a man way beyond his 17 years. And typically, his swan song delivery was grittier and looser than the performance on which he was judged yesterday. Go figure.

Next week, we'll see a return of one of last season's better mentors, Jamie Foxx. He's no Harry Connick Jr., and he's no centaur, but the dude IS pretty intense. Now, if only they could get him to show up as Wanda.

CANUCKGIRL delivers the thrills and spills of America’s favourite singing competition direct to your monitor. CanuckGirl is NOT a professional journalist, nor does she play one on television.