American Idol 9: So I found myself in the sun, a hell of a place to end a run

Some of you were wondering what happened to me last week. Sure, only two of you asked. Yeah, that's two out of the seven readers I have -- well, six if I don't count myself. Let it be stated right here that there's more to CanuckGirl's world than just blogging about this silly show twice a week. I actually DO have a life, ya know! Yep, one of my all-time favourite bands hit Vancouver and Seattle, so I had to make my presence known in both cities (and I have the photos to prove it). Sorry, I know I promised to write last Wednesday, but it just didn't happen. I mean really, what can you do? It's MY blog (that is, until Jay Leno decides he wants it), so I have a bit of license, within reason, as to what I do with it. Don't be surprised if life gets in the way of Idol again. Just sayin'.

Anywho, I did watch last week's episodes after the fact, and I missed my chance to make any comments about Denver, Posh Spice, Bikini Boy, and whatever you wanna call that "best-of-worst-of-excuse-for-an-extra-episode" episode. Denver? I've never been, but my friend Melissa lives there, and she's got a great story about how former Broncos quarterback John Elway got her terminated from a thriving career in adult retail. Call her sometime, she'll tell you all about it. Posh Spice? Was it necessary to bring her back? I'll give her credit in that she actually seems to have a pretty decent sense of humour. She just needs to eat a couple of sandwiches one of these days. Bikini Boy? Two things: 1) he'd obviously lost a bet; and 2) I'm pretty sure that sun tattoo on his back was an Alice in Chains logo. Meaning: A) he's a man of honour; and B) he has impeccable taste in music. As for the extra episode? Yeah, I'm not gonna bother with that one.

Day 1 of Hollywood Week began with the unveiling of American Idol's newest introduction: Vitamin Water Zero! Oh, you thought I was talking about Ellen DeGeneres? Sure, she's that great new judge, but the big news is that Coca-Cola's sponsorship has been trumped in favour of calorie-free flavoured water! Okay, never mind. Let's talk about Ellen. There's been a lot of speculation as to whether or not she could fit the bill considering her lack of experience in the field of music. People can trash-talk all they want, I think Ellen is wonderful! No, she's not a singer, or songwriter, or producer, or even a music mogul of the Simon Cowell sort. She's a fan, just like you and me. When it comes right down to it, it's the fans who choose the winner, right? Fans buy the music, fans go to the concerts, fans purchase the t-shirts. Ellen represents all of us, and that works for me. Besides, she's funny because she intends to be, not because her medication is kicking in.

So I guess at some point, I have to talk about the contestants. Really, do I have to? Okay, well, there were 181 of them in Hollywood's Kodak Theatre. Some of them were very good (Katie Stevens, Janell Wheeler, Mary Powers), others just didn't cut it (country girl Vanessa Wolfe, crazy weirdo Skiiboski). Speaking of Skiiboski, Ellen thought he was stalking them. Her advice, "Don't frighten your audience. Sexy and scary -- it's a fine line!" On the rational end of the scale, one of the first day's stand-out performances would have to be Andrew Garcia's "Kris Allen card" take on Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." It was pretty cool. It reminded me of Brian Melo's sensitive execution of "Baby Got Back" from Canadian Idol's Season Five. Confusion set in though (for me anyway) when Kara compared him to Adam Lambert??!?!? Huh? Kara and I are obviously thinking about two very different Adam Lamberts.

Day 2 began with the customary ardent reminder from Simon, "DON'T forget the words!" In previous seasons, that statement would usually sound the siren for legions of inattentive contestants to jump into the abyss of forgotten lyrics. But not so this time around. This day presented us with some pretty impressive competition:

-- Lilly Scott gave us Ella Fitzgerald's "Lullaby of Birdland." That is NOT an easy song to pull off, but she did it with conviction.

-- Michael Lynche (whose wife was at home in labour with their first child) threatened to pummel anybody who didn't agree that he should be the next American Idol. He performed John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change," and unlike Mayer, he did NOT put me to sleep. Nice job.

-- Casey James (you know, he's the dude from the Denver audition who took his shirt off at the request of Kara and Posh) threw us a cool, blues-infused number. This guy is a star, shirt or not.

-- Didi Benami delivered a fine take on Kara DioGuardi's "Terrified," well, except for that weird "i-e-i-e-iiiiiii" section that was more reminiscent of Raine Maida's tortured whining than anything else. Other than that, she was fabulous.

-- Crystal Bowersox presented a tremendous execution of Aretha Franklin's "Natural Woman," despite the fact that this song needs to be Banned From Idol (TM). Simon thinks she's infectious and real. I'd be inclined to agree.

That's all I've got to say about the first two days of Hollywood Week. Aren't you glad you clicked that link and whiled away 2 1/2 minutes of your work day? Tune in tomorrow for my assessment of the always horrific Group Round. You know you wanna!

CANUCK GIRL delivers the thrills and spills of America’s favourite singing competition direct to your monitor. Canuckgirl is NOT a professional journalist, nor does she play one on television.