American Idol 9: There's No Going Back to the Place We Started From

It's Homecoming Week on American Idol, and each member of the Final Three received the privilege of boarding a private jet that would take them to their own starting points. But did we get to tag along? Not so much. Tuesday night, we would be blessed or cursed with two songs performed by each Idol: one chosen by the contestant, the second chosen by the judges. Apparently, they're saving the annual "home invasion" episode for Wednesday night.

Casey James made the fateful decision to wrangle up "OK, It's Alright By Me" by Eric Hutchinson. What by who?! This obviously denotes the first time I'd ever heard of this song and artist, and it'll likely be the last. So let me get this straight, dude, you've made it to the Top 3, and you choose to sing a song nobody knows? It felt almost as if Casey took the stand to NOT compete anymore. I'm guessing he's made the firm determination to NOT win this thing. At this point, Mr. James is just coasting by on his blondish good looks. It was an utterly unremarkable and completely forgettable performance.

Crystal Bowersox made a bit of a typical grab with Melissa Etheridge's "Come to My Window." However, she did go full-on with the harmonica-holder-contraption that reminded me of the retainer I had to wear on my teeth in Grade 7. Anyway, I somehow expected this to sound really fantastic, but it fell somewhat short for me. Maybe it was the retainer? I don't know, it was just aight for me, for you, for me. Kara commented that Crystal didn't possess enough of Melissa's raspy tone. Kara, aren't you trying to push the contestants into making songs "their own?" Lady, it's because of YOU that these kids get so confused.

Lee DeWyze took up the slack dropped off by the evening's first two performers by posting an authentic delivery of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." It wasn't always completely in tune, but it felt real and not pushed. It was a perfect song choice for Lee. It may have been a number that not too many people have heard, but unlike Casey's choice, it came across as genuine and I think we ALL felt it. In my estimation, Lee was the ONLY solid competitor in the night's first round.

For the second half of the evening's festivities, we were allowed to take a brief glimpse of each competitor's hometown. I mean REALLY brief! Casey traveled home to Cool, Texas, and all we got to see was the guy with a bunch of his followers hanging out in front of some AT&T building. Isn't AT&T one of Idol's sponsors? Anyway, Randy and Kara chose John Mayer's "Daughters" for Casey to sing. John Mayer's taste in ex-girlfriends makes him only marginally more interesting than Jason Mraz, so I suppose we should feel lucky. At any rate, he did just an okay job with one of the beigest songs ever written. When this whole contest started up, I predicted Casey would win the big prize. Now I'm just thinking he's trying his best to pick up a bronze medal. Blandrew Garcia's dullness must've rubbed off on him somehow. I must say, it was a pretty sad showing for someone with so much going for him. Too bad.

Crystal's short homecoming was shot where? Again, in front of an AT&T building in Elliston, Ohio. You might be fast-forwarding through the commercials, but product-placement is everything these days, baby! I bet all our American friends felt the strange urge to switch cell phone carriers on Tuesday night. On with the show, "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney ended up being Ellen's choice for Crystal. I've been in love with that song since back in the day when I was nothing more than a bespectacled, retainer-wearing 13-year-old who had saved up enough allowance to ride her bike to the local mall to pick up "Wings Over America" on triple vinyl. What a treasure! Yes, kids, those are those funny-looking, flat, round, black pancakes that your grandparents have lying around the house. I truly enjoyed what Mama Sox did with the song, and she sure has a big heart full of soul, but I really wish she would've taken it to the piano. Sure, she'd only done that once before, and it wasn't exactly HER instrument, but she would've been a marked improvement over that hack they had stomping on the keys as if he were Jerry Lee Lewis. Nice job, Crystal. I'm sure you'll be sticking around for the finale.

As far as Lee's trip home, we were only witness to his limousine ride from O'Hare Airport en route to Mount Prospect, Illinois. There wasn't an AT&T building in sight, but I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that the cell phone containing the text of Simon's song choice may have been provided by a carrier other than Sprint or Verizon. Anyway, Simon chose Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" for Lee. Loyal readers of my blog (all six of you) might remember that, earlier this season, I laid down a moratorium on this song. Obviously, after Lee's performance, there's enough room for exactly ONE exception. This guy has just proven to us all that the dark horse in the race is usually the one most worth watching. My only negative critique would be based on the addition of the superfluous choir during the mid-way point. Lee had the full ability to carry that song completely on his own back. It's a shame that somebody decided otherwise for DeWyze.

At the end of the night, it felt safe to say that Casey SHOULD be the top contender to drop off the Idol radar. But anything can and probably WILL happen. Tune in tomorrow for the big results – and unfortunately for all of us old enough to know better – a performance from none other than Master Bad Mop Haircut himself, Justin Bieber. 'Cause nothing says Homecoming Week better than some overhyped, whiny, snot-nosed kid from Canada.

CANUCKGIRL delivers the thrills and spills of America’s favourite singing competition direct to your monitor. CanuckGirl is NOT a professional journalist, nor does she play one on television.