Jerry Lewis Wants To Spank Lindsay Lohan

Like Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day, beloved-in-France funnyman Jerry Lewis emerges once a year to promote his annual Labour Day telethon for muscular dystrophy, inevitably using the opportunity to say something completely nuts.

Of course, it's more likely that he's saying this stuff all year round; it's only now that anybody actually notices.

This year, Inside Edition interviewed the 84-year-old comedian, and the subject of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and other bratty celebrities caused him to completely lose it.

"I think they need a f*****g spanking! And a reprimand!" said Lewis of young celebrities like Lohan who are more known for bad behaviour than any sort of talent.

"It has nothing to do with [money and fame], it has to do that they have the intelligence of a box of rocks. A bag of snails will give you better answers than those people ... I think a great deal of it is ignorance and crying for something other than fan love."

Referring to Lohan in particular, he added, "I'd smack her in the mouth if I saw her. I'd smack her in the mouth and be arrested for abusing a woman ... I'd say, 'You deserve this' and nothing else. Whack! And then, if she's not satisfied, I'd put her over my knee and spank her. And then put her in rehab. And that's it."

While I agree with the sentiment — Paris Hilton's "not-my-purse" defense for cocaine posession is almost as clever as Linday's "not-my-pants" excuse when coke was found in her pocket — leave it to Jerry to transform a cogent point about boneheaded "celebs" who are more famous than talented into a sexist, violent rant that conjures up the image of geriatric lunatic taking a sexy young girl over his knee. And while I'm aware Jerry comes from a bygone era when the Rat Pack ruled Vegas and smacking a broad was a perfectly acceptable way to keep a dame in line, he should know by now that threatening to punch a woman in the face isn't going to play particularly well in the press these days.

Tune in this weekend to see Jerry host his annual Labour Day telethon, where he'll be joined by such show-biz relics as Tony Orlando, Charo and Jurassic stand-up comic Norm Crosby.