Wild Horses . . .

. . . couldn't pull horndog Mick Jagger off of 18-year-old Mackenzie Phillips.

Lost amidst the former "One Day At a Time" star's shocking Oprah appearance, where she claimed to have had a 10-year-long incestuous relationship with her father, The Mamas and the Papas John Phillips (and ensuring I'll never be able to hear "California Dreamin'" on the car radio ever again without an extremely unpleasant image popping into my head), was an almost-as-shocking allegation involving Mick Jagger.

As Phillips tells it, she had just turned 18, she and her dad were at a party at Mick's place when the Rolling Stones singer announced he had a hankering for a tuna salad sandwich. But wouldn't you know it? Sir Mick was out of mayonnaise, so he sent Papa John down to the store to buy a jar. As soon as he left, the leering Jagger clicked the lock on the door and said, "I've been waiting for this since you were 10 years old."

Can we just pause for a moment to say, "Eeeeeeeew."

In her own words, "We went into Jerry Hall's bedroom and had sex in their bed. My dad came back and started knocking on the door, yelling: "You've got my daughter in there!'"

Another heartwarming vignette from the world's most dysfunctional family.