American Idol 9: Pieces of Eight – The Girls

It's Ladies Night in Hollywood, and just like any occasion when a group of girls get together to cut loose, you'll sometimes find one of them snuggling up to a strange boy. Well, this evening commenced with Ellen sitting on Simon's lap, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. And she wasn't even drunk! But they really do make a cute couple, don'tcha think? I hope Portia wasn't watching.

Anyway, to start the ball rolling for the final group of eight girls, Katie Stevens tried her hand at Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway." Immediately, her register was too low, leading into a chorus that was overly shrill. She took the judges' advice by singing a younger, more contemporary song, but Ellen slammed her a bit for being TOO young and not really feeling the words. Strange, considering Avril Lavigne was only 17 when she allegedly co-wrote it. Again, the judges are confusing this girl. They want her to sing something more within her own age range, but then accuse her of not knowing what kind of artist she wants to be. Personally, I think Katie's pretty good. She just has to stop listening to what the grown ups say.

Siobhan Magnus was up next with The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun." For the record, that's the first song I ever learned to play on guitar. Don't ask me to do it now, 'cause it's been awhile since grade 11. As for Siobhan, where has this girl been? In a word, she was outstanding. She was in full control of her voice from a cappella start to solid finish. All the judges loved her, except for Simon, which then caused Kara to backtrack and say that she didn't know what kind of artist Siobhan was trying to be. So what is it, Kara? Did you love her, or did you think she was faking it? These judges need to get a handle on their own critiques if we're to take them seriously. Oh wait, too late for that.

Lacey Brown brought the atmosphere down below knee-level by snoozing out Brandi Carlile's "The Story." When it wasn't nasal, it was out of tune. Sometimes it was both. On a style note, she desperately needs to step back from the eyeshadow! Why would somebody with such beautiful green eyes make such a concerted effort to bury them under three inches of glittery powder and gloopy mascara. It's too bad, really. Back to her very sleepy performance, for some reason, everybody liked it. I, for one, am absolutely dumbfounded.

Katelyn Epperly then weirded us all out with Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move." She apparently played keyboards, although you couldn't actually hear them. It was bizarre, verging on awkward. I'm not exactly sure what to think of that performance. Kinda dull, really. Kara said she didn't feel like she was competing, and I'd actually agree with her (not too often that happens). Katelyn claimed she was trying to be less corny. I don't know. She's standing at a Wurlitzer and smiling goofily at the camera while dispensing a 40-year-old song that she has no connection to? Get the butter.

Didi Benami sealed her fate (in my household) by bankrupting Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon." I adore this piece like you don't even know. Didi's version made me want to throw my coffee table through the flat screen. The lyric asks "will you ever win?" Probably not. Can this girl sing ONE note the way it's written? Randy said that he wasn't sure if there was a "wow" moment in that performance. Sure there was. How about "Wow! That was horrible!" The other three loved it. I hope Stevie Nicks wasn't watching.

Paige Miles was way out of her league with Charlie Chaplin's "Smile." She obviously fancies herself a jazz singer. A terrified, off key, insecure jazz singer, probably. When the bossa nova beat kicked in, Randy wondered if he was at a banquet looking to choose between chicken and beef. Her excuse? "Well I love the song, and it was emotional, and you know, and I love the song so much, and you know, well I love the song, really, and it's so emotional, and I really love the song"... or something like that. I'd be quite surprised if she makes it past Thursday.

Crystal Bowersox showed 'em all how it's done with Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason." I don't know what to say. It almost seems trite to talk about how good she is. Simon commented on her confidence. Yeah, for sure. It's very clear that she knows she's better than the rest of the girls. Don't worry, Crystal, we all know too.

Lilly Scott closed off the night with Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces." This girl knows how to do eccentric without doing annoying (I'm pointing in YOUR direction, Didi Benami). There's something cute and infectious about Lilly. I don't think she's running at the calibre of Crystal, but then again, none of the girls are. I think she'll stick around for a while. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next for her.

So that's the round-up for the final eight ladies. Wednesday, we'll see what the boys have got. Get ready!

CANUCKGIRL delivers the thrills and spills of America’s favourite singing competition direct to your monitor. CanuckGirl is NOT a professional journalist, nor does she play one on television.